Rob, my name is …….. I am interested in discussing a need within my family. I am at the end of a two year divorce (not my decision) and would like any suggestions on “team building” to enhance the relationship between my three teenagers … and myself. I … hope to do all I can to provide the best up-bringing for my children.
Dear _____, I have children about your age – God bless you! Here are some ways that I might go about team building were I in your situation:
- Pray for and with them. You need the Lord’s blessing and guidance.
- Every team has a goal. What might you and your children decide to do or accomplish together that would take real effort and commitment to make happen? Last spring, my daughter and I chose to do our first triathlon together in late summer. We put together a training plan, worked out with each other, and held each other accountable. As we ran (or biked, or prepared to swim), we’d have talk time about life and all of the other things that were going on, so we grew closer through our training. We completed the race together, and it was my personal high point for 2009. The accomplishment also did wonders for her belief in herself. So what might be similar for you?
- Be clear on behavioral guidelines, i.e., what is and is not acceptable, and lovingly hold them accountable. Divorce is difficult on children, and grief and anger are natural responses. But that doesn’t excuse disrespect to you or other authority figures, nor does it make stupid, risky decisions (e.g., alcohol use) acceptable. I don’t know if you’re dealing with these responses, but if you are, lovingly nip them in the bud.
- Consider a family mission statement. Google that term, and look for articles on that subject by Stephen Covey. Having a written credo that describes who your “team” is and what they are about can have a powerful bonding effect.
Blessings to you.
