We’ve all heard “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”  We have learned that, to grow our businesses, we are going to have to network effectively.  So what do we typically do?

NETWORKING — THE TYPICAL APPROACH: We … well, we “network.”  We go to the same events, visit the same watering holes, talk to the same people.  We’ve joined a local networking group in which we pass around business cards and practice our elevator speeches.  This is supposed to lead to more business, so we double down on these efforts (I know some people who are members of several networking groups), and we wait … and wait … surely, this works, doesn’t it?

Networking groups have identified the right goal, that is, that the person with whom I network refers me to those within their networks whenever a need arises which I can fulfill.  But most of these formal groups have adopted the wrong approach, based on a premise which I believe to be false.  Call me crazy, but I will NEVER refer you to one of my friends or clients merely because we both paid a fee, you gave me your elevator speech and handed me one of your business cards.  My reputation and existing relationships were won too dearly to be gambled away.  And although I may be more vocal about this reservation than others, I’ll bet that you, in your heart of hearts, feel the same.

IF YOU WANT THAT REFERRAL, at least from me, there’s a few concepts you should understand – what networking is NOT, what networking truly is, what I MUST know about you, for example – and a few steps that you will want to take …

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